1.31.2004
no reason.
actually, i'm lying.
no time to explain.
1.28.2004
waiting for the gomez show is going to be a cold experience
1.26.2004
i think the picture was a wonderful way of expressing the way you were feeling.
no human can understand the impossibility of forever
"hug"
no human can understand the impossibility of forever
"hug"
I apologize if my memorial post made people feel uneasy. The truth is I'm very glad that she is not in pain like she has been the past year or more. I've never had anyone close to me die. This is my first experience with death....
The first real thing that has hit me was communication. She's not on vacation. She is gone, never to return. I haven't even begun to understand what this means.
.....
.........
The first real thing that has hit me was communication. She's not on vacation. She is gone, never to return. I haven't even begun to understand what this means.
.....
.........
1.24.2004
DelRae Elaine Perkins
June 14 1961 - January 23 2004
1.23.2004
if fantasy takes the place of hope in the mind, the understanding of the line between fantasy and reality can destroy you
1.22.2004
another thing...
I was perusing the www.riaa.com site and was just struck by the nature of their reasoning. It is difficult to describe other than "You will let us shove our crap in your smiling mouth". check it out yourselves... It comes in little bits and pieces, parts of statements. It is what happens when accountants and lawyers take over an art form.
I was perusing the www.riaa.com site and was just struck by the nature of their reasoning. It is difficult to describe other than "You will let us shove our crap in your smiling mouth". check it out yourselves... It comes in little bits and pieces, parts of statements. It is what happens when accountants and lawyers take over an art form.
How does paranoia start? We look at the paranoid and schizo and wonder how they can end up like that. I am beginning to see...
I have a fear of lawsuits. An outright fear. There is nothing one can do to avoid them, and when one is hit with one, there is essentially no defense, outside of bankruptcy. The latest round of RIAA suits has me afraid, and I don't really know why. I guess it is a collection of little fears. I ran Kazaa for a couple of days when I first got my broadband connection, but I was disappointed and grew tired of it. It wasn't all that great. So I played about with linux and haven't run it since. Now the lawsuits are starting. I usually think I am immune, though for some reason now, I fear I am not. There are 4.8 million people a day who use p2p networks, so safety in numbers seemed to be the name of the game, but 532 of that 4.8 million weren't so lucky. Could I be among them? Could you?
Then tonight I had a missed call on my phone. Comcast outgoing sales. My bill has been paid. What does that mean? Are they on to me? Will the jackbooted thugs kick in my door tonight and arrest me and throw me in federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison (remember office space?). What defense can I put up, standing there half asleep in my underwear? I called them back, but had to leave a message. Judgement delayed for 12 hours.
I hate the RIAA. It must be what hating communism was like. I joined the boycott-RIAA this evening. Not that it makes a difference, but it helped a bit. perhaps a Tshirt or mug will properly express my frustration?
regardless of the lawsuits, the music industry has been putting the screws to alot of people for a long time. Now they are putting the screws to themselves, and blaming others for the pain. I for one have bought my last CD. If I never listen to another piece of music again, I will not buy one, and neither should anyone else. Tomorrow will tell.
I have a fear of lawsuits. An outright fear. There is nothing one can do to avoid them, and when one is hit with one, there is essentially no defense, outside of bankruptcy. The latest round of RIAA suits has me afraid, and I don't really know why. I guess it is a collection of little fears. I ran Kazaa for a couple of days when I first got my broadband connection, but I was disappointed and grew tired of it. It wasn't all that great. So I played about with linux and haven't run it since. Now the lawsuits are starting. I usually think I am immune, though for some reason now, I fear I am not. There are 4.8 million people a day who use p2p networks, so safety in numbers seemed to be the name of the game, but 532 of that 4.8 million weren't so lucky. Could I be among them? Could you?
Then tonight I had a missed call on my phone. Comcast outgoing sales. My bill has been paid. What does that mean? Are they on to me? Will the jackbooted thugs kick in my door tonight and arrest me and throw me in federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison (remember office space?). What defense can I put up, standing there half asleep in my underwear? I called them back, but had to leave a message. Judgement delayed for 12 hours.
I hate the RIAA. It must be what hating communism was like. I joined the boycott-RIAA this evening. Not that it makes a difference, but it helped a bit. perhaps a Tshirt or mug will properly express my frustration?
regardless of the lawsuits, the music industry has been putting the screws to alot of people for a long time. Now they are putting the screws to themselves, and blaming others for the pain. I for one have bought my last CD. If I never listen to another piece of music again, I will not buy one, and neither should anyone else. Tomorrow will tell.
One night I am alone in my house, compiling lists of friends from the past.
It grows dark, and i begin to wish for company. The list sits before me on
the table, reproaching me with intimations of missed opportunities and
regretful abandonments. There is a scratching at the window, and absently
i open it, assuming that one of my cats is feeling lonely too. To my dismay,
a small devil-creature, salivating with anticipation, leaps squatly into the room.
I recognise it immediately as being of the type to possess the soul without
hesitation. Backing away from it's gleaming eyes, i consider my options. With
a flash of intelligence, i announce to the devil-creature that it is yesterday, and
today i am dead. The creature looks quizzically at me. I insist that it has made
an error - it is yesterday, and later this evening i kill myself with a large, sharp
kitchen knife. I am dead. My soul has gone. The devil-creature is too late.
It looks puzzled, but i explain, with placatory hand movements, that this is really
a simple matter. As i am already dead, there is no point in attempting to take my
soul. Come back in a week, i tell the devil-creature. The landlord will have re-let
the house, and there will be fresh prey. Huffing and puffing, the creature waddles
back to the window, and lurches off into the night.
Congratulating myself on my quick thinking, i close the window, and it is with a heavy
heart that i wander into the kitchen and begin rifling through the knife drawer.
~Stanley Donwood
It grows dark, and i begin to wish for company. The list sits before me on
the table, reproaching me with intimations of missed opportunities and
regretful abandonments. There is a scratching at the window, and absently
i open it, assuming that one of my cats is feeling lonely too. To my dismay,
a small devil-creature, salivating with anticipation, leaps squatly into the room.
I recognise it immediately as being of the type to possess the soul without
hesitation. Backing away from it's gleaming eyes, i consider my options. With
a flash of intelligence, i announce to the devil-creature that it is yesterday, and
today i am dead. The creature looks quizzically at me. I insist that it has made
an error - it is yesterday, and later this evening i kill myself with a large, sharp
kitchen knife. I am dead. My soul has gone. The devil-creature is too late.
It looks puzzled, but i explain, with placatory hand movements, that this is really
a simple matter. As i am already dead, there is no point in attempting to take my
soul. Come back in a week, i tell the devil-creature. The landlord will have re-let
the house, and there will be fresh prey. Huffing and puffing, the creature waddles
back to the window, and lurches off into the night.
Congratulating myself on my quick thinking, i close the window, and it is with a heavy
heart that i wander into the kitchen and begin rifling through the knife drawer.
~Stanley Donwood
1.21.2004
Things would be a lot less complicated if everything was an easily definable surface problem.
fortunately, obedience is a 'definable surface problem.'
then there's the unfortunate... this site... why does this exist?
fortunately, obedience is a 'definable surface problem.'
then there's the unfortunate... this site... why does this exist?
1.14.2004
the races battle through cheerleading?
what an ingenious idea
do you suppose maybe someone tried this idea in the 50's with one team being white girls painted black for the movie. hmmmmm
what an ingenious idea
do you suppose maybe someone tried this idea in the 50's with one team being white girls painted black for the movie. hmmmmm
1.13.2004
Just when you thought you lost your faith in humanity, something comes along and makes you know you have.
Ladies and gentlemen, witness the the doom of our civilization.
Ladies and gentlemen, witness the the doom of our civilization.
this moment in time is being spent with death cab and a need to go to the grocery store. i need to move this ass, but it doesn't want to be moved. i must have a conversation with it, explaining that in order to accomplish things on this fleet farm free day it must release itself from magnetism of this computer chair. another laundry day. and while i'm on the otherside of the great highway perhaps I shall start to use on of my gift certificate to Mickey's. this house of mine also need some tidying up on this day. all of these things required the ass to break itself from the grasp of the chair in witch it is currently resting.
and release
awwwwwwwwwwww
now my day must start
and release
awwwwwwwwwwww
now my day must start
1.11.2004
well, here I sit again. The white empty spaces of a virginal text field taunting me, defying me to write something - anything - meaningful.
I met a guy yesterday who actually cared about politics. I mean actually cared. I kind of came away with the feeling like he had just come from a sports bar where he had given his paycheck to a fat, balding man with the first and second buttons of his shirt unbuttoned, wiry black and gray chest-hairs all askew. A man who promised big returns on the Sunday late game. But only provided an incentive for the guy to watch.
Girls are confusing. Very, very confusing. Just when you think you know what they are thinking, you realize that they thought you thought you knew something that you, in fact, did not know. And you end up wondering where that leaves you now. The dangerous thing is what you say next.
Tall buildings never cease to amaze me. Have you ever wondered how long any of them would be here if for some reason humans just disappeared? A guess? 500 years? 1000? 100,000? It would be interesting to walk through a deserted 1000 year old city.
I met a guy yesterday who actually cared about politics. I mean actually cared. I kind of came away with the feeling like he had just come from a sports bar where he had given his paycheck to a fat, balding man with the first and second buttons of his shirt unbuttoned, wiry black and gray chest-hairs all askew. A man who promised big returns on the Sunday late game. But only provided an incentive for the guy to watch.
Girls are confusing. Very, very confusing. Just when you think you know what they are thinking, you realize that they thought you thought you knew something that you, in fact, did not know. And you end up wondering where that leaves you now. The dangerous thing is what you say next.
Tall buildings never cease to amaze me. Have you ever wondered how long any of them would be here if for some reason humans just disappeared? A guess? 500 years? 1000? 100,000? It would be interesting to walk through a deserted 1000 year old city.
1.10.2004
sometimes i wake up horny and have to think that quite possibly the dreams i had that night were not deep and meaningful
1.09.2004
world domination would be a pretty sad accomplishment. cause after that all you have to look forward to is when you are going to be assasinatted and your power overthrown.
1.07.2004
today my sister tuned 23
she's now seen the ultra sound and she's having a son
in may probably
she's now seen the ultra sound and she's having a son
in may probably
1.04.2004
1.03.2004
4 day weekend
i had planned on making a cd for each day of this weekend.
January 1st 2004
1. "cherry" smashing pumpkins
2. "i don't blame you" cat power
3. "last goodbye" jeff buckley
4. "i'm a wicked child" radiohead
5. "the noose" a perfect circle
6. "say it's all mine" moby
7. "trouble" coldplay
8. "rebel prince" rufus wainwright
9. "sour times" portishead
10. "wandering" ben folds
11. "southern belle" elliott smith
12. "motivation" tripping daisy
13. "a spoonfull wieghs a ton" flaming lips
14. "wonderful you" dandy warhols
15 "leave (alt. version)" rem
16 "spacegirl" drugstore
January 2nd 2003
1.interpol: say helo the the angels
2. failure: the nurse who loved me
3. boards of canada: roygbiv
4. the notwist: pilot
5. the special goodness: oops
6. phantom planet: turn, smile, shift, repeat
7. meat beat manifesto: prime audio soup
8. kenna: red man
9. postal service: this place is a prison
10. mogwi: ratts of the capital
11. nine inch naile: just like you imagined
12. vast: touched
13. bjork: human behaviour
14. the prodigy: climbatize
15. unkle: celestial annihalation
16. the dust brothers: this is your life (featuring tyler durden
first two days worked quite well,
todays however must be reworked, i held a kind of end of the world theme and it seems very badly pasted
i had planned on making a cd for each day of this weekend.
January 1st 2004
1. "cherry" smashing pumpkins
2. "i don't blame you" cat power
3. "last goodbye" jeff buckley
4. "i'm a wicked child" radiohead
5. "the noose" a perfect circle
6. "say it's all mine" moby
7. "trouble" coldplay
8. "rebel prince" rufus wainwright
9. "sour times" portishead
10. "wandering" ben folds
11. "southern belle" elliott smith
12. "motivation" tripping daisy
13. "a spoonfull wieghs a ton" flaming lips
14. "wonderful you" dandy warhols
15 "leave (alt. version)" rem
16 "spacegirl" drugstore
January 2nd 2003
1.interpol: say helo the the angels
2. failure: the nurse who loved me
3. boards of canada: roygbiv
4. the notwist: pilot
5. the special goodness: oops
6. phantom planet: turn, smile, shift, repeat
7. meat beat manifesto: prime audio soup
8. kenna: red man
9. postal service: this place is a prison
10. mogwi: ratts of the capital
11. nine inch naile: just like you imagined
12. vast: touched
13. bjork: human behaviour
14. the prodigy: climbatize
15. unkle: celestial annihalation
16. the dust brothers: this is your life (featuring tyler durden
first two days worked quite well,
todays however must be reworked, i held a kind of end of the world theme and it seems very badly pasted
1.02.2004
i could be worse anna, you could be me : )
atleast you're trying
atleast you're trying
well, news. I am a new resident in an apartment in Osseo. I am a new contract employee for Boston Scientific, Inc.
I am a very small and new cog in a large and very boring wheel. I will have a cable modem soon.
I am about halfway done with "we". so far it is ok, but I think I have read too many classic dystopian-future novels. They are all pretty much the same. I need to find a new genre. I guess I think that it is not the surrender to technological advancement that sucks the individuality out of people, but laziness. It is too easy to be just like everyone else. Hence the homogeneity of these novels. How ironic... books about people somehow different from others in their system end up being so alike.
"Shut up, conformist" - the goth kids
I am also nearly completed with my latest CS Lewis book. I think that CS Lewis has to be one of the most straightforwardly intelligent people in the history of the world. Chad, your love of analogy would be well met by this man. I now have many different titles to choose from should you wish to borrow.
in all, though, things are much the same in this new year.
I am a very small and new cog in a large and very boring wheel. I will have a cable modem soon.
I am about halfway done with "we". so far it is ok, but I think I have read too many classic dystopian-future novels. They are all pretty much the same. I need to find a new genre. I guess I think that it is not the surrender to technological advancement that sucks the individuality out of people, but laziness. It is too easy to be just like everyone else. Hence the homogeneity of these novels. How ironic... books about people somehow different from others in their system end up being so alike.
"Shut up, conformist" - the goth kids
I am also nearly completed with my latest CS Lewis book. I think that CS Lewis has to be one of the most straightforwardly intelligent people in the history of the world. Chad, your love of analogy would be well met by this man. I now have many different titles to choose from should you wish to borrow.
in all, though, things are much the same in this new year.
It seems, no matter the amount of alcohol I consume
I'm never able to completely shake off my inhibition with socializing.
And because there is no cure for this, ("You can change Anna." None of that bullshit please.)
I find myself more and more avoiding social situations all together.
I know, I know... I'm doomed to be painfully shy the rest of my life...
I'm never able to completely shake off my inhibition with socializing.
And because there is no cure for this, ("You can change Anna." None of that bullshit please.)
I find myself more and more avoiding social situations all together.
I know, I know... I'm doomed to be painfully shy the rest of my life...
1.01.2004
what a badass
